


Chuck's Purple Prose

by poD7et



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chuck is God, F/M, I'm so sorry, Why Did I Write This?, becky's purple eggplant dildo, chuck's purple prose, cipactli, domme!becky, implied pegging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6243982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poD7et/pseuds/poD7et
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck is being hunted by The Darkness and he needs help. So he calls on Becky to help him beat this evil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chuck's Purple Prose

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to write this, but instead I ended up writing [The Unlikely Friendship of Cat-stiel and Rat!Dean](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6215344)
> 
> As different as these are, you can see some similarities.
> 
> Also lovely fanart by mayalaen!!!!

_Knock knock!_

Becky ignored the knocking and continued typing.

_Knock knock!_

Becky typed faster and spoke the words she was typing to keep her focused and drown out the sound of knocking.

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK** _

Becky grumbled something like, “So help me God, if that’s him again . . .” then rose to answer the door.

She looked through the peephole, groaned, and unlocked a couple of locks but left the chain attached as she opened the door.

“I thought I told you--”

“Two minutes. Just give me two minutes and I--”

Becky ignored his plea and slammed the door, but not before Chuck slipped his fingers into the gap. He grimaced and sucked in his bottom lip as he tried not to scream out in pain. Becky apologized and struggled to get the chain off, but Chuck’s fingers stretched the chain too far to slide off. Finally, Becky realized she needed to squish his fingers a bit more to open the door.

Becky opened the door, invited Chuck inside, and then ran off to look for something to ice his hand. Chuck squeezed his squished hand as if he could only smush it enough it would stop the blood flow to his fingers and stop the horrible throbbing he felt.

Becky came back in brandishing a bag of frozen peas and a bag of frozen carrots and a very concerned face. She tried to take care of Chuck, but he refused to accept her offers. But Becky didn’t relent. She continued to try to apply the frozen veggies to his obviously swollen fingers babbling about always hurting him and how that’s not what she wanted.

Chuck’s hand hurt and he wasn’t ready to deal with Becky’s fawning. He intoned his VERY SERIOUS voice and said, “Stop.”

Becky froze in her tracks. She was pretty sure that the whole room shook with that one word. But that couldn’t be right.

“Are you okay?” Chuck asked with genuine concern.

Becky shook her head and remembered to breathe and all of the things normal people do. “Huh?” She asked. “What? Okay? Uh, yeah. I’m okay.” She answered as she backed out of the room to put the vegetables back in the freezer.

“We need to talk.” Chuck said when Becky returned.

Becky’s eyes darted to the couch. “Okay.”

“Not here.”

* * *

 

“So you’re G--” Becky said with awe. If her eyes opened any wider they’d fall out of her head.

“SHHHHHH!” Chuck cut her off and nearly jumped over the table to stop her. He earned a few strange looks from the other patrons of the Biggerson’s they were in. Chuck smiled sheepishly and sat back down.

“So you’re the big man?” Becky whispered.

“Cat’s out of the bag.” Chuck answered rolling his eyes. “But that’s not why I came to see you. I actually wanted to--”

“Enlist my help in Sam and Dean’s eternal struggle in the fight against things that go bump in the night?”

“. . . what? No.”

“You needed my expert knowledge on Sam . . . and Dean!”

Chuck frowned.

“Oh wait, but you already know everything because you’re G--” Becky stopped herself. “G-g-great at research!”

Chuck furrowed his brow and resisted the urge to facepalm.

“No. OH MY GAWD!” Becky screamed and then clapped her hands over her mouth. “You mean . . . I can’t believe it!”

Chuck smiled softly. “Yeah, Becky. You’re the one for me.”

“Thank you so much! I don’t know what to say! I would be honored to continue the Supernatural books in your name!” Becky made an inhuman high-pitched velociraptor noise.

“No.”

Becky started rambling at warp speed. “This is such an amazing opportunity. I knew if I kept working on my _Wincest Woes_ fic something good was bound to happen. I would finally get some recognition and I can’t believe I’m going to be able to work in such a well-established fandom. There’s already a loyal fanbase and this will be such a great jumping off point for my career! I don’t even know how to tha--”

Chuck cleared his throat.

Becky continued to ramble.

“Stop.” Chuck said with his God voice. The Biggerson’s went completely quiet.

Becky gasped. “Do we need to . . .”

Chuck looked around the room and nodded.

The pair left the Biggerson’s and its bewildered patrons and climbed into Becky’s car.

Becky pulled out and started to silently drive away. She has one hand on the wheel while the other groped at the console. Chuck grabbed her hand and Becky stilled. She looked at him and saw how serious he seemed. Becky finally recognized gravity of whatever it was that Chuck wanted to tell her. She nodded and drove to the closest rest stop. She parked in, but neither left the car.

“Becky, I . . .” Chuck faltered. He closed his eyes. And when he opened them he saw Becky and realized she was crying. He wiped the tears from her face.

“I’m sorry.” He said gently wiping the tears from her face.

“Sorry for what?”

“For not being what you needed. That’s why I left. I-I knew I wasn’t good enough for you.” Chuck paused, closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath. “Becky, I love you.”

“Chuck, I . . .” Becky was struck speechless and not because Chuck intimidated her with his God voice..

Chuck waited for the rest of the sentence, but when it didn’t come he opened the car door to leave.

“Wait!” Becky called. “I never stopped loving you, Chuck.”

“Really?”

“Of course!”

“But you never called.”

“You walked out on me.”

“Right . . .”

“Why don’t you come over to my place tonight, Big Man.”

“Actually . . .”

“Right. You used your power there and the greatest evil to ever evil is tracking that power and it’s not safe there now. I think I know a safe place.”

Chuck grinned and Becky quickly pulled on her seatbelt, started the car and drove away.

* * *

“Your hand!”

“Hm”

“Your hand, Chuck!” Becky said shrilly. “I completely forgot. I’m so sorry!”

Chuck walked up to Becky and held her head in his hands to steady her. “What? I’m fine, I swear.”

“But I-- And the door!”

“. . . right. Uh, don’t worry. I’m okay.”

“Oh! You can heal yourself. Wait! But if you do that, won’t _she_ know?”

Chuck explained that healing was a standard angelic power, and as long as he doesn’t overdo it, it would be impossible to differentiate it from other angels.

Chuck starts to outline exactly what he could and couldn’t do without attracting unwanted attention.

Becky produced a big tupperware box and pulled out an outfit and handed it to Chuck. Chuck turned it over and over in his hands trying to figure out which way was up.

“Get changed.” Becky commanded stripping down to get into her costume. Becky pulled on a harness and rummaged through the box lifting a large purple eggplant shaped dildo. She smiled before fitting it to her harness.

Chuck swallowed.

“Color?”

“The light reflecting off the morning dew from a well manicured suburban lawn.”

“Is that green? Or yellow? Or red? Speak plainly.” Becky demanded roughly grabbing Chuck’s jaw. “Or we’ll have to end our scene, understand?” She added softly.

Chuck nodded.

“Color?”

“Fanfiction green.”

_SMACK_

* * *

 

When Becky was done with him, Chuck was out of breath and flushed red from the tips of his ears to the tip of his . . . throbbing manhood.

Becky smiled. Her job was complete.

“End scene.”

“Becky?”

“What’s up, Chuck?”

“Don’t do that?”

“Do what?

“Say ‘upchuck.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Anything else?”

“Well, I haven’t been completely truthful with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I actually _did_ come to enlist your help in Sam and Dean’s eternal struggle in the fight against things that go bump in the night. More specifically, The Darkness.”

“The band?”

“Worse.”

“Worse?”

“My sister.”

“Your . . . sister?”

“Is there an echo in here?”

“Oops.”

“Anyway, it’s a long story. But she’s been sucking the souls of humans to increase her power and you’re the only one who can stop her.”

“And you just need to use me to stop her. I thought that we really, you know . . . bonded.”

“Nonononono!” Chuck exclaimed. “I mean, yes! We did bond. We ARE bonding. I love you.”

“Really?” Becky asked.

“Of course! I love you, Becky Rosen.”

Becky felt those words like a blow to the chest. Then she realized that there was actual power behind them. Like, God level power. Becky opened her mouth to suggest moving again when Chuck delivered the best kiss she’s ever had in her life. She closed her eyes and could literally feel the love welling in her chest. She felt powerful, like she could take on the world.

Chuck pulled away and Becky opened her eyes, but everything was still dark.

“She’s here.” Chuck whispered. His voice suddenly seemed very small. “Be brave, Becky.” Chuck said squeezing Becky’s hand for courage, although whether for Becky’s sake or his own, it was unclear.

“Talk about being caught with your pants down, brother.”

Becky turned toward the voice and looked straight into The Darkness’s eyes. She can feel her power. She wanted to run, but Chuck was counting on her.

“I name you,” Becky says with a noticeable waver in her voice, “The Darkness!” Becky exclaimed half hoping that naming this creature will strip her of her powers.

“I name you, Tramp.”

“Excuse me?” Becky sassed.

The Darkness continued ignoring Becky. “And I name you, what are you calling yourself now? Chuckles?”

“It’s Chuck.”

The Darkness scoffed.

Chuck realized that he’s squeezing Becky’s hand with all his strength. He also realized that Becky didn’t seem to notice. He kissed her on the cheek before releasing her hand and walking toward his sister.

“Sister, you’ve crossed a line.”

“ _I’ve_ crossed a line?”

“Yes. Amara, this has gone too far.”

“Like hell. I’ll decide when it’s gone too far.” Amara said raising her hands to gather her power.

She released her wrath on Chuck.

“NOOOO!” Becky screamed and the attack fizzled.

“What?!” Amara whispered.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on him!” Becky commanded.

Amara hesitated. She seemed frightened of Becky, but she shook it off and stood a little taller.

“It doesn’t matter how straight you stand. I can smell your fear, _tramp_.” Becky retorted.

Amara’s resolve hardens as she prepared another attack. “No more games!” she shrieked as she launched another attack at Chuck.

Becky ran to her love and embraced him. She feels another surge of confidence. “You evil, soul-sucking cipactli!” Becky screamed.

And suddenly in Amara’s place stands a part crocodile, part fish, part toad creature with a mouth on every joint.

“What did you do to me, bitch?” Amara demands with a chorus of voices from her multiple mouths.

“I didn’t do anything.” Becky said absolutely flabbergasted.

“Change me back!” Amara whined.

“But I didn’t do anything!”

“Change her back!” Chuck demanded.

“I don’t know how!” Becky said panicked.

“I’m hungry.” Amara chorused.

“Just wish it!” Chuck shouted.

“But--”

“JUST WISH IT!”

“Oh great.” Amara’s mouths sighed.

“I wish she could change back.” Becky said with exasperation.

“Still a cipactli.”

“It didn’t work.”

“Did you give your powers to _her_?” Amara

“You gave your powers to me?” Becky asked incredulously.

“I figured it would take you by surprise.” Chuck shrugged.

“You trusted me to take your powers? Why?”

“Oh lord, here we go.” Amara’s mouths whined.

“Stuff it.” Chuck snarked.

“And what if I don’t?”

“With what?” Becky asked.

“I’m hungry so I’d appreciate some food.”

“Anything. So long as it shuts her up.”

Becky ran to her box and pulled out a ball gag. She stood before Amara and then hesitated. “Which one?” she asked Chuck.

“How should I know?” he answered.

“Uhhh . . .” Becky affixed the gag.

“Stop that!” Amara’s other mouths complained.

This is going to be impossible Becky thought looking back at her chest. Chuck lugged the box closer to Amara.. They started stuffing the various pieces in her mouths.

“This is impossible!” Becky whined.

“Keep stuffing.” Chuck demanded.

“Don’t you dare.” Amara threatened ineffectively.

Chuck holds up the eggplant dildo and is about to stuff another mouth before Becky shouted with all the force of her new God powers, “ **STOP!** ”

“What?” Chuck asked.

“I like that one.” Becky pouted.

Chuck shoved it into another of Amara’s mouths anyway.

“I said, ‘ **STOP!** ’” Becky repeated.

Chuck froze.

Amara let out a sigh of relief.

It took Chuck a beat to regain control of his limbs. “It’s not like we have any other way to shut her up. Unless you have an arsenal of vegetable dildos.”

Becky smiled slyly.

“Oh sure, I’ve got carrots, potatoes, turnips, cabbages, celery, kale, squa--”

“Really?”

“Of course not!”

“Oh.”

“Oh!”

“Oh! What?”

“Apparently, I do.”

Chuck and Becky looked into the box which was now overflowing with vegetable-shaped dildos. Th start to stuff the mouths. But Amara’s hunger was endless and she was actually attempting and succeeding in eating the silicon.

“God, I wish she was a woman again.” Becky moaned as Chuck shoved a radish into another one of Amara’s mouths.

Amara transformed back into a woman and half-eaten dildos spilled onto the floor. She spat out the kale dildo toward Chuck who yelped and backed away.

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.” Amara threatened.

Amara was beyond pissed. She gathered herself and then extended both arms toward Chuck and Becky to attack them. But nothing happened. Amara strained and then a radish fell from between her legs.

Everyone looked at the radish.

Amara opened her one mouth as if to say something, but no sounds escape except a forced rush of air. The now human Amara ran out of the room.

“Must’ve been a hoarse radish.” Becky quipped.

Chuck just buried his face in his hands and shook his head.

**Author's Note:**

> As you probably guessed. This was written for [SPN Coldest Hits](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/SPNColdestHits/works)
> 
> I'm sorry if you actually read this. This is awful. I feel ashamed for you if you read this. I feel ashamed that I wrote this. And even more ashamed that I posted it.


End file.
